Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I AM to Die For...

...Just Ask Jesus...

Woah, that's a lot to take in, is it not?  That's probably why I chose 'Cause He (God/Jesus) Loves Me for my blog name.  In about 9 months to 1 year I hope to make this blog into a website (I'll have a fairly well paying job :).  Starting blog with it's own URL is EXPENSIVE! ) with LOTS of followers ;).  I hope it becomes something big and/or changes a life...

But, back to the saying.  Jesus really DOES think I am to die for!  Is that not amazing?!?  Who would've thought that I am to die for?  That he died so I, the sinner, could go to heaven!  He bore every sin ever committed so I could go to heaven!  Why would he do that?  Why?

Why is a question I am always asking!  I ask it because a) I'm curious  and  b) I can't/won't/don't believe what you're saying is true!  I had a huge BFO (bling flash of the obvious) about a week ago.  I have always thought I wasn't worth a piece of garbage or worth a crap (I don't normally talk like this) in laymen's lingo. Why? (Can you see my obsession with the word Why, yet?)  I don't rightly know.  I just know I have the LOWEST self-confidence of any human being you'll ever meet.  I may be EXTREMELY book smart and techno savvy.  I may be a great horsewoman (which horse stuff is the only thing I've EVER been confident with!) and I may be 'pretty' by the world's standards (no I'm NOT bragging!)...  But I've always been shy and unconfident.  Since I've believed this lie (that I'm not worth anything) everything has suffered.  I haven't been doing everything to my utmost ability because I didn't think it would make a difference because I sucked (excuse my language, again.  I just couldn't think of a better word) at everything.  Or that's what I believed.  But it's NOT TRUE!  DO NOT BELIEVE THE LIE THAT THE WORLD/SATAN WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE!!!  You ARE worth a LOT!  You aren't a piece of garbage for people to trample!  So, don't let them.  Here is my favorite verse and a verse that makes my point for me~

Matthew 10:29-31
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one falls to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  And even the very hairs on your HEAD are numbered.  So, do not be afraid for you are worth more than many sparrows...

If the very hairs on your head are numbered don't you think God thinks a great deal of you?  But, back to my BFO...

I had had some bad news (I'm not going to tell anyone since it didn't happen) so I went outside.  Sonny was right there and I had just reread the first chapter of 'Hope Rising' by Kim Meeder (you REALLY need to read this book) so, in the back of my mind, I was mulling over the idea that you ARE loved.  Then I got the bad news and went outside, ladedadeda...  And I started crying on Sonny.  That happens a lot.  He's like a big teddy.  I also think he understands a little bit of what's going on.  But while I was crying God brought to my mind that chapter I had read.  But, I being average me, rejected it.  He presented his case again, and I, like a bad judge, rejected it as false, again.  Finally he got a little ticked and said, "Walk away from that horse."
And I said (in normal me behavior), "Why should I?"
And he said, "Because, if he follows you that means you really are LOVED."
And I said (do you see a pattern yet?), "But if he doesn't follow me it means I'm not loved.  I don't know if I can take that..."
And he said, "Trust me (I don't trust easily [If at all] b/c no one understands me and whenever I bring my emotions up they say they aren't true.  Whatever.)"

So, for probably the first time in a my life, I trusted.  I didn't think Sonny would follow (there was knee high grass everywhere!) so I stood there scuffing my bare toe in the dirt, not daring to look over my shoulder.  And, you guessed it, I felt soft breathing on my neck.  HE HAD FOLLOWED!  But, I being me, didn't quite believe it.  So, we repeated the sequence again, and again, and again, and again.  And he followed me every time.  Finally, I just started sobbing on his (Sonny's) forehead.  I cried for around 30 minutes.  He just sat (well, stood) their like a good little boy.  I felt, I don't know, free?  Relieved?  Happy?  Loved?  Alive?  I just know I felt GREAT (that word doesn't describe the feeling at ALL.).  And like the biggest weed 'breed' in that weed patch called my heart had been pulled out.  I still struggle with feeling I'm not loved minutely but I think I'm winning the battle.  I have to.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Singing in the Rain is hosting a Blog Party! Yah, baby!

      Here goes nothin'!

1. What has been your favorite part of summer so far?
      My week off from school ;).
2. What is your favorite part of autumn? 

     Starting to see an end to the heat, humidity, and etc (kinda) in sight!  (I live on the water and in FL...  So, it's always boiling!  I mean, we wore SHORTS AND T-SHIRTS ON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!  I mean COME ON!)
3. Raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens?

     Rain drops on roses ;).  They are just sooooooooooo pretty!
4. Describe your dream house.

     A small little log cabin with just the necessities (i.e. a bathroom, shower, fridge, air conditioning, and internet (but not a phone line please!) with a barn adjoining it and sitting on at LEAST 25,000 acres :).  Preferably 100,000 ;).
5. What's your favorite movie?

     Hard one!  Probably National Treasure (one and two) or Forrest Gump or Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one)
6. Quote something from the book you most recently read:

     I can't think of anything but here's my favorite movie quote~
 My mama always used to say life was like a box of choc-lates.  You never know which one you're gonna ge-et...  -Forrest Gump
7. What do you like/not like about my blog?

     Your fun posts and awesome blog design!  Pure eye candy!
8. Rain or shine?

    Rain and shine ;).  It depends on what mood I'm in...
9. The worst grammatical mistake, in your opinion:

     Saying me when you should say I.  UGH!
10. If you had a choice, would you want to live: in the mountains, in a rainforest, on a prairie, or by the beach?

     The mountains definitely.  I'm moving there in 4 years!  That's where the college I'm going to (or at least want to) is!  University of Montana.
11. What character from a book would you say you are most like?

     Edmond in The Chronicles of Narnia.  I keep my emotions in check for sure...
12. Be constantly talking the rest of your life or not be able to communicate in any way for the rest of your life?

     The latter for sure!
13. Owl City or Switchfoot?

    Owl City
14. Taylor Swift of Selena Gomez?

     I'm not allowed to listen to either of them so I say...  CARRIE UNDERWOOD!  lol!
15. Your pet peeve?

     Being a wuss around horses.  It could get ya' killed (And I am so not joking.  Especially when you have a bunch of young horses [like me] loose during feeding time)
16. What's your favorite font?

      Not sure...  Depends on the mood!  But I LOATHE Bleeding Cowboy!
17. How are you educated? (i.e. homeschooled, public schooled, private schooled)

     Homeschooled and loving it!
18. Do you consider yourself tomboy-ish or feminine? 

     Tomboy-ish for sure!
19. What's your favorite song?

      My Wish, Mayberry, When the Sand Runs Out, No Reins (all by Rascal Flatts), or Jericho, Sarah Jo, Nashville, and pretty much any song by Jonny Diaz!  I also LOVE most of Craig Cameron's songs....  But I have to sya my absolute FAV is What I Love About Sunday by Craig Cameron...
20. Did you enjoy answering these questions?

    Yah, baby!  Sorry, I'm in a weird mood....

Saturday, August 21, 2010

New blog name and new screen name Ideas...

HELP!  I'm thinking I'm going to change the blog name to 'Cause He Loves Me and my screen name to either-
The Victorious Tailor (What my real name means)
Laurel Crowned

The blog 'theme' verse'll be Matthew 10:29-31 (aka my absolutely FAVORITE verse!)~

Matthew 10:29-31 (New International Version)

29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Vote for what you think by leaving a comment (not required) and voting in the poll(s)!

Oh, the *new* look should be up by Monday/Tuesday!  YAY!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

P E A C E....

     Ahhhh....  I had the best, most peaceful session ever night before last...  Since the barn isn't quite up, yet, I brought him onto the back porch for a nice grooming session, some stretches, and UDT...  I feel so bad because I can't remember the last time I had just 'hung' with him and groomed him :(.  I had some music on too!  It was mostly Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Jonny Diaz, Classical, and some really relaxing Scottish music...

     We played with stretches and he loved them!  He caught on really fast!  I think I'm glad I did that session...  I think I'm going to *try* to do it every night...

     On a different note I'm redoing my blog, again.  It's going to stay 'pretty much' the same I'm just putting the NavBar in it's own column, messing with the header a bit, adding a special watermark to about everything, and just playing around with it a bit :).

Wednesday, August 4, 2010



verb, chose; cho·sen or (Obsolete chose; choos·ing.

–verb (used with object)
to select from a number of possibilities; pick by preference.
to prefer or decide (to do something).
to want; desire.
(esp. in children's games) to contend with (an opponent) to decide, as by odd or even, who will do something.

—verb (used without object)
to make a choice.
to be inclined.

cannot choose but, cannot do otherwise than; is or are obliged to: He cannot choose but obey.

     Hmm...  For my church's Bible Study, before the sermon, they asked us to look up this word.  It's causing me to really lick, chew, and think.  Choose doesn't just mean the very first meaning (to select from a number of possibilities) but means a range of things, like-

     To prefer; want; desire; make a choice; be inclined...

     I really like 2,3, and 7-

     To prefer or decide
     To want; desire
     Cannot choose but, cannot do otherwise than, is or are obliged to.

    The last one made me think about how bad I've been lately about choosing to do my chores, work with horses, do school, and etc.  I do it but I don't want to.  I want to want to.  I want to be #2 or #3 in everything I do!  I do like to work with the horses...  But I can't unless I do everything else I have to do.  Horses are a lot of work.  So are all of our other 500 pets.  One thing that does not help with all of the things I have to do is my lack of organizational skills, time management skills, and my 'scatter-brainness'.  When I'm doing school (or anything requiring brain power) I tend to go into LaLa land like 'look at the pretty butterfly!  Let's daydream [or make a whole book in my head] about the butterfly and not do school (aka anything requiring brain power)...'  I know...  I'm bad.  I just can't help it!  I have the attention span of a gnat!

    Off subject but, I'm watching 'The Last American Cowboy'.  It's AWESOME!  lol ;).

    I'm only allowed to watch a movie Friday night and an occasional show...

     I'm having issues typing today.

     I'm bored

     I'm going to go now...

     I didn't sleep last night.  I had a migraine...

     This is TOTALLY off subject...

     I'm making dinner tonight...

     I WILL stop now...

     Good Bye and Good Night...

     Anna now calls Ah-wah (Lauren, Ah-wah doesn't sound very similar...)


     I'm in a REALLY random mood...

      Good Bye!

A Good Poem...

When you run so fast to get somewhere
you miss half the fun of getting there
if you worry and hurry through your day
it's like an unopened gift
thrown away
Life is not a race
Do take is slower
hear the music
before the song is over."